A scene is wrapping up; lawyers coming out of the courts, behind them you see a figure, the gender indistinguishable, wrapped in layers of wool, with large glasses (a clear homage to the late and great Dr Abdus Salam), a furrowed brow, looming about a foot above everyone else.

That yeti is me. I am Fazeelat Aslam, and I co-produced the Oscar winning documentary, Saving Face. My first reaction after I found out about the Oscar nomination was, “How much of a fighting chance do I have at taking down Stacy Keibler?” followed by the logistics of George (Clooney) sending my parents a rishta.

I got a dress made in two days thanks to Feeha Jamshed. Additionally, I had my tailor make me a top – from fabric my mother later told me was the material she was going to use for the new lampshades in the living room – and therein began my journey to Hollywood.

I arrived at my lush hotel, the Mondrian, in West Hollywood late at night, did a My Fair Lady style montage of “I could have danced all night” and passed out at about 1 am, only to have to stick my head out at 2 am to tell people to be quiet in the halls. A first at the Mondrian to be sure.

The next day I realised I could not wear tops of lampshades around LA. I ran around Macy’s screaming “I’m going to the Oscars and I have no shoes!” The staff looked at me with disregard, said “Sure you are” and directed me to the Jessica Simpson half-off discount pile.

It was the day of the Oscars. I stuffed myself with eggs Benedict until a posse of stylists arrived to get me dressed and un-yeti’d. Soon, myself and the rest of the team arrived at the Oscars and onto the red carpet and there in front of me … it was him. It was George Clooney. It’s strange when you see someone so famous. Rather than lunge at him and declare my love, I was dignified and in denial, “no, I will not accost batman. No, I will not swoon at Dr Doug Ross’ feet.” I finished walking down the red carpet, only to realise my blood sugar was low and panic hit me — they don’t feed you at the Oscars. But they do! Tiny little hors d'oeuvres made by the famous Wolfgang Puck. I managed to steal two from in front of Maya Rudolph’s face; it was that LA ruthlessness I was acclimating to.

The ceremony began, and it truly is more amazing to watch in real life. The lights, the sets, it’s magic — it’s Hollywood. Before we knew it, the award for best documentary short was won by us! We laughed, we hugged each other and anyone in close proximity, we cried and then we all looked at each other and thought … holy hell, this means we get to go to the Vanity Fair after-party.

When you win the Oscar, you can essentially go anywhere, all you have to do is wave the Oscar in the security person’s face and they usher you through. And so we did. Obnoxiously. Amongst the likes of Michael Moore, Michelle Williams and Cameron Diaz, there sat the yeti, glamorous as ever, cupcake in one hand and burger in the other.

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Fazeelat Aslam is the co-producer of the Oscar-winning documentary 'Saving Face'

This was originally published in the Herald's April 2012 issue. For more, subscribe to the Herald in print.