“I often wake at night with an uneasy sense of choking and being throttled. My breathlessness and heart palpitations last all night. The next morning an abysmal sense of soreness swamps me,” says Haseena, a 50-year-old woman from the village of Dardpora, in [India-administered] Kashmir, describing her mental anguish. She is one of the 20,000 widows in the valley; women whose husbands were killed either by militants, state security forces or in the crossfire.
Dardpora, with its snow-clad mountains, apple orchards, frozen lakes and the deodar groves, might seem a utopian place but this is far from the truth. The village, 140 km north of Srinagar, lies close to the line of control and along an accessible cross-over route to Pakistan-administered Kashmir, leaving its residents extremely exposed to the conflict. More than 150 women in Dardpora are victims of a gendered violence peculiar to Kashmir, becoming 'half-widows'.
Also read: The pursuit of Kashmir
'Half-widows' is used to describe wives of men who have disappeared but have not been declared dead. The Association of Parents of Disappeared Persons estimates that 8,000-10,000 men have disappeared since 1989, leading to an estimated 1,500 'half-widows' in [India-administered] Kashmir. However, the Indian government doesn’t recognise the phenomenon of enforced disappearances in Kashmir and asserts that the ‘missing’ count is not more than 4,000. This leaves the 'half-widows' in a state of permanent limbo as they suffer the consequences of an ‘ambiguous loss’: a situation of loss without closure or clarity.
Banu Begum has spent the last 20 years caring for five children without her parents’ or in-laws’ support. When her husband went out to shop for their daughter’s wedding and never returned, she was abandoned by her own family.
This unresolved grief results in post traumatic stress disorder and major depressive disorder. According to a recent survey by Action Aid, 14 per cent of the 4,000 Kashmiri men and women studied were found to have severe mental health illnesses, the most common of which is depression. A study by Paul D’Souza and Aman Trust, Vulnerabilities of Half Widows of Jammu and Kashmir, suggests that 92 per cent of Kashmir's 'half-widows' experience high vulnerability across the social, economic, gender, cultural and health dimensions.
Suffering in silence: Journalists and mental health
Farooq Ahmed Mir, an activist describing the plight of 'half-widows' in Dardpora says, “They spend most of their lives running from one jail (or army camp) to another trying to find answers but find none. Not only do they become the sole bread-earner with the sudden responsibility of bringing up the children but also lose the community and family support”.
The financial challenges they face are aplenty. Getting a pension, ration cards, bank accounts or even transferring the husband's property becomes difficult as a death certificate is required for all. A paper titled The Plight of Kashmiri Half-Widows by Deya Bhattacharya explains the challenges with property rights.
“Under Islamic jurisprudence, a widow with children gets one-eighth of her husband’s property. A widow without children gets one-fourth. A 'half-widow', till her husband is declared dead, gets nothing.”
Although there is a provision for an ex-gratia payment to the families after they obtain a death certificate from the local screening committee, this can be done only seven years after the disappearance and is subject to proving that the victim was never involved in militant activities. However, such a relief payment is perceived to be “blood money” – money in exchange for the lives of the husband – and therefore most of them refuse the relief despite their economic hardships.
In 2014, Muslim religious clerics decreed that a 'half-widow' could remarry four years after her husband’s disappearance. Coming 22 years after the first custodial disappearance, this reform was too late for most women in Dardpora. Most women, being the only ones to care for and support their children, couldn’t even imagine a remarrying. The 'half-children' of widows and 'half-widows' are also a vulnerable lot, easily influenced by the stigma of being ‘fatherless’ and the climate of social alienation.
The lives of widows and 'half-widows' highlight a lopsided legal system, government neglect, a cruel culture of ostracisation and widespread mental trauma. The Jammu Kashmir Coalition of Civil Society recommends that a holistic rights-based approach addressing the 'half-widow' situation be taken up by the government as a priority by first acknowledging the enforced disappearances. A data-based survey to study disappearances and the socio-economic situation of 'half-widows' is an essential part to start with, so that a thorough judicial process to streamline the system that provides compensation to the affected can be taken up. A special bench of the high court should be convened to expedite the disappearance cases so that the families know the whereabouts of their loved ones.
According to Dr Arif, a psychiatrist, “The governmental initiatives have to be also supported by ongoing civil society efforts to enable the provision of primary and mental health care to support women on an ongoing basis. Projects that empower women financially such as income generating projects, scholarships for children should also be initiated”.
As India-administered Kashmir begins to initiate transitional justice in the state, both governmental and non-governmental interventions that empower direct and indirect victims of gendered violence in the community are a must.
This was originally published in The Wire, India
The writer is a photojournalist based in India.
Comments (73) Closed
Why never any coverage of Pakistan occupied Kashmir.?
It is a great tragidy that whole population is suffering and there is nobody who cares. The article has high lighted the plights of these unfortunate women and of course the whole Kashmiri people.
that sharia law practiced has aggravated the problem of peoples
"also lose the community and family support"
why the society and community shuns them instead of supporting them? Community/Society support is the biggest feature of South Asian culture. How/why is it missing in Kashmir?
what does it mean feeling 'throttled' ?
@Iftikhar Husain I agree, Kashmir should either be free or we should take care of them, since the freedom is nowhere in sight, we should remove afghans and send them back home and allow Kashmiris to settle in Pakistan and not suffer more,
@A Shah Because it is Azad (free) Kashmir..........India is the one occupying part of Kashmir
Just look at Karachi and how many widows you find there? Any data there.What a propaganda.
Very sad stories. Why doesn't India gov eradicate these age-old pratcices among Muslim women ? What is "half-widow" , "quarter-widow" ? Widow is a widow and she can marry another man and get full property of his ex-husband .
Dawn if possible write something about kashmiri pandits, they are also kashmiri
Indian government spends enormous amount of money in Kashmir but due to Islamic laws not allowing property inheritance etc their condition is worsening
@A Shah This part is called "Azad Kashmir" because it is free from a reign of terror. There are no enforced disappearances, no killings, it is all peaceful and thus nothing to report. All the news are in Indian Occupied Kashmir. May the Kashmiris get their independence from the brutal Indian occupation, Amen.
@A Shah This part is called "Azad Kashmir" because it is free from a reign of terror. There are no enforced disappearances, no killings, it is all peaceful and thus nothing to report. All the news are in Indian Occupied Kashmir. May the Kashmiris get their independence from the brutal Indian occupation, Amen.
I think Balochistan's disappearing youth should also be covered.
Disappearing youth of Balochistan. Pakistan needs to answer.
There are few cases like that but there has been ethnic cleansing in Balochistan.
Very sorry to hear their plight. Pakistan must put an end to state sponsored terrorism in Kashmir and stop training and sending terrorists across the border and if they do this tragedy for all will stop. Will they do it?
They are probably in Pakistan in the custody of ISI to be used when it deems fit.
We all should feel the pain of those enforced disappearnces of Karachi youths and Baloch activists as well.
Very sad but people also need to reproduce responsibly. If you have five or six kids, you are in trouble whether you are a half-widow or not.
@A Shah
"Why never any coverage of Pakistan occupied Kashmir.?"
Valid point. Do notice that this article first appeared in "The Wire", an Indian news portal. That's the essence of true democracy, the willingness to introspect, to criticise self... that's why we have such a thriving civil society in India. The strident debates over JNU-Kanhaiya, or those over the returning of government awards, the routing of BJP-Amit Shah in the recent polls in Bihar and Bengal...and then, then media articles such as this --- they all point to a vibrant democracy.
Pakistani readers will do well to mull over these facets of the Indian way of life.
@billy How much free (Azad Kashmir) is well known. We get all the information through the internet now a days.
@Zak Please take care of Ahmedias first in Pakistan, then Pakistani Hindus, Sikhs, Kalash tribe, then think of Kashmiris first under Pakistan, then claim for Indian Kashmir.
@Worth_Commenting Free from terror, Azad Kashmir? There are terror groups, training camps by LeT, JeM waiting to enter Indian Kashmir.
Mess with law!!!!this is what u get
Sad and True. They are not allowed to have an Indian passport though been occupied by India for years @A shah...I would just like you to visit both sides of Kashmir and then you will know when the occupied Kashmir is been covered and why not azad Kashmir doesn't have the converage. See and check the ground reality first before jumping on any conclusion guys!
Hats off to the author for a good job done !
Half widows of balochistan
Many ppl have talked abt the disappearance of ppl in Karachi, Balochistan as well as the plight of Kashmir pundits. So many stories all over, this should be an eye opener to all what South Asia has become. :(
Please publish about Baloch people's plight too. This was published in India about Indians! please publish about Pakistani balochs.
This is so sad. Kashmir will be free from Indian tyranny soon.
It I so sad how people are comparing Karachi with Kashmir haha. There is a difference between occupied people and free people.
@billy what abt pakistan? U people have attacked kashmir province first. What about baluchistan? How did it become part of ur country? practise before preaching my friend
@Tamilselvan Your response highlights the degree to which Indians constantly blame Pakistan for all that is wrong in Kashmir. You might feel satisfied doing so, but the Kashmiri who lives with daily humiliation at the hands of Indian security personnel will question why you never condemn the Indian Forces, since it is they who Kashmiris encounter on a daily basis. Hatred of Indian forces is so high that local Kashmiris pelt soldiers who are engaging militants. Locals come out by the thousands for funerals of militants. No wonder they're all so alienated from India, because you guys refuse to understand why. Their lives are miserable because of India, not because of Pakistan. Even when militancy declined, the Indians remain and the hatred of India grows as a result.
This is sad. It does not matter who commits this or where these tragedies take place.....Pakistan, India or any other country. If we want to be called 'human beings' or we have the desire to be humans, then we need to address these issues. I understand that me as an individual cannot do much, the only thing I can do is atleast speak the truth.
@Sunil We took care of them, don't you read in newspapers, now our eye is on Indian occupied Kashmir.
Why cry over Kashmir. In our land of the pure, people from Balochistan and karachi disappear every day and are never found again or are found in gutters.
Fatima is pretty !
@dp whatwas not mwntioned here that the kids get the portion inheritance of widowswith children and as caretaker of children the children's share will also cone to the mothers to spend on children.
@Indian Muslim
First stop using fake name. You are a Pakistani and not Indian. If you was Indian then you should have know that every Indian can get a passport.. even Kashimiris as they are also Indian :)
Did they check into camps in Pakistan?
@A Shah because Azad kashmir lives in peace and harmony. If there was any isdue, indian media would be first to highlight it, but they know, kashmiris are at peace in pakistan.
Let's introspect rather than try to deflect a serious unending issue.
@Zak simpler still, let's ask foreign indian 850,000 occupation troops to leave the nation of kashmir so that kashmiris can live in peace.
The disappeared of jharkand, Chattisgargh , sikkim, Assam, Manipur, orissa. Start with one than start with all or stick to the UN resolution only, choice is yours.
@Fawad should we talk of sikh khalistan plight as well. Let's be equal.
We indians should look at it from humanity way. Imagine if we were ruled by English and our women were in same position. Would we say, what about other countries. Do unto others as you want them to do onto you. Kashmiris voices should be heard, even if we don't like it. This was Ghandiji way.
World's silence speaks volumes. Will Malala and Obaid Chinoy please have the international media shed some light on this. Or is the glamour reserved for issues that serve western interests only...where negative limelight is fixated on the ignoramous.
Islamic law should be made more gender neutral.
@A Shah for your kind information as per un resolution kashmir is part of Pakistan & is not occupied land. It is India who is unlawfully making kashmiris hostage. This is yet another indian hypocrisy towards international law.
Because there is peace in pakistani kashmir.no killing at all.pakistani side kashmir is most peaceful state in pakistan.not like indian side kashmir were indian army killed innocent kashmiris.
We all know the treatment Muslims got in (East Punjab and) Jammu which was reduced from a Muslim majority to a Muslim minority place by ethnic clensing. Hindus have no love for the Kashmiris who wanted to join Pakistan in 1947 and still dream of independence. No wonder Indian Army treat them as second class in their own state.
@A Shah Why no coverage of Azad Kashmir? Because Pakistani army (including it's Kashmiri soldiers and officers) is not killing and oppressing their Kashmiri Muslim brethren who happens to love Pakistan. In Indian Occupied Kashmir the things are reverse: an Army of Hindus accupying a Muslim people.
But come on; you already knew this!
@SK "Kettle calling the frying pan black" comes to my mind reading your commment which hardly qualifies a reply but I am doing it any how since you forgot the forceful occupation of Junagarh even when her Muslim ruler signed instrument of accession to Pakistan, the forceful takeover of Hyderabad State even when it's Muslim ruler wanter independence or merger with Pakistan, the takwover of the country of Sikkim, Siachen occupation in 1984...and then the whole Indian Army landing in Kashmir even when her Muslim majority wanted/ wants Pakistan.
@Zain I agree, especially when supposedly free people are lot more under security threat than so called occupied people!
Wish their husbands had opted for a peaceful life instead of joining militancy and leaving their families to fend for themselves..
@CALCUTTA MAN
Yes Calcutta Man, India is indeed a working democracy, for as long as it suits her. The UN had decided to hold a plebiscite in 1949, when Indian leadership took the Kashmir affairs to that forum. Can you possibly give a date when that democratic pre-requisite shall be fulfilled.
Pakistan sold off Kashmir to China, what moral ground can you stand on
The photo you posted in of about a widow (BANU)is not of her as the photo you posted is one of my neighbour who lost her husband ( Mubark shah) by natural death...so you are requested to please remove the same so that people may not get wrong information.
The photo uploaded by you is not of BANO as mentioned in the news, she is a normal widow in my neighborhood who lost her husband (Mubark shah)to natural death...please,remove your post so that people may not get misguided..
@Sunil I guess you have been to Azad Kashmir to personally witness these groups, right? Or are you reading the 'objective' Indian newspapers these days :) Of course, according to your authentic information, India has never sponsored terrorism inside Pakistan either, right?
Who will marry a woman with five children, unless he is a millionaire. This problem is not only in Indian Kashmir, but also in Pakistan where men died fighting TTP, LET, LEJ, JUD. Also the problem with wives of those terrorists killed by security forces. The army killed but never revealed the identity of the dead. The problem is more in Syria, Iraq, Nigeria, Somalia, Yemen where the terrorists' dead bodies are not even identifiable, buried en masse in large pits.
@mimi sur the right thing Indian Govt should do is to pull back occupying forces, and fulfil the promise of their founders for a free and internationally observed Plesbiscite
@A Shah
First of all its called Azad or Free Kashmir. And second because there is no occupation or forced disappearance. The Kashmiris here are free unlike our brethren across the LOC who remain in occupation and subjugation in indian occupied kashmir. Thats why.
@Nadeem You mean the terrorists that bomb and kill their own fellow Baluch brothers and sisters along with migrants who come uplift the province for a few hundred dollars. No comparison here. Nice try.
@Zak but he was not even a freedom fighter but just an ordinary civilian. But then under occupation, the invader has to use fear and death as its tool of suppression. That's why they don't ladt.
@AK pakistan made agreement for part that was accepted by British empire as part of China. Only India want other people's land. The Brahmin RSS mindset.
when politicians and religious leaders are not honest towards their duties and responsibilities , people will have to face lot of hardships and agony. Unfortunate , but a sad fact .
@Zak India takes better care of Kashmiris then what you do to your own citizens, is well known. Google Sardar Shahid Arif.
Why do their families and communities abandon them at a time when they are in dire need of assistance? They have done nothing wrong.
@mimi sur I would be alot better if Indian Govt stops killing,abducting Kashmiri men and over that you have the audacity to ask there family members there wives to move on
This is the story of Blochistan
@Worth_Commenting. Agreed. Only part of Pakistan that is free is Azad (Free) Kashmir, the rest is occupied and needs to be vacated sooner or later.
@Khwarezmi Pakistanis must understand Kashyap Meer ( Kashmir's Real Name) has been part of India for thousands of years and will remain so as no power on Earth can separate Kashmir from India. You talk about treatment of Muslims in Indian Punjab but have you ever wondered what happened to Millions of Hindus of Pakistan? Hindus formed 20% Pakistan's population in 1947 and now been reduced to less than 2%. All Muslims of the Sub Continent including Kashmiris should acknowledge that they have Hindu DNA and were forced into Islam against their will.
It is a great tragedy of Pakistan based militants. They are changing mindsets of youth from Pakistan occupied Kashmir & also Jammu & Kashmir too. The article has high lighted the double standard of Pakistan with this whole Kashmiri people.